Wedding vows say “Till death do us part” but sometimes the fairy tale needs to come to an end sooner. While it’s a sad moment for anyone to realize that their marriage is no longer the incredible adventure they’d hoped it would be, getting a divorce doesn’t have to be a soul-crushing move that destroys your life. For many couples, making the decision to end their marriage brings more peace and closure than staying in an unhappy relationship. Although this isn’t a decision to be made overnight and circumstances will vary for every couple, here are three reasons to consider when you’re wondering how to know if you should get a divorce.
Physical or Emotional Abuse
Fighting is inevitable in a relationship. Even the strongest couples may say some things they later regret, but there is a vast difference between saying something snarky in the heat of an argument to verbally and emotionally abusing your spouse. If your partner ever physically assaults you or frequently manipulates, demeans, insults or verbally attacks you, it’s time to say goodbye. Getting out of an abusive marriage is difficult, so it’s important to take the right steps beforehand to minimize any risks. This article by leavingabuse.com will help guide you if you’re stuck in an abusive relationship.
Marriage is the ultimate commitment. Someone who breaks that commitment to you proves themselves untrustworthy and undeserving of your own devotion. While there can be underlying causes to cheating, such as lack of communication and intimacy in your relationship, there’s no excuse to put the effort into wooing someone else when you could be using that to fix your marriage. Some couples are able to move on, but there’s no shame in not being the “forgive and forget” type when it comes to something as serious as infidelity, especially if it’s been going on for months on end.
Drug Addiction or Alcoholism
Substance abuse and addictions destroy not just the lives of the user but also the lives of those closest to them. If you love your partner dearly but have struggled with their addiction, it may be time to do what’s best for you and end the marriage. As hard as it is, you can’t keep yourself in a place of such negativity and emotional instability. It’s difficult to leave in cases of drug addiction or alcoholism, especially when you feel as if you’re the only thing keeping your spouse from going “over the edge”, but eventually there comes a point in time where you have to accept that you’ve done all you can and they now need to make their own decisions.
Finding Hope in Divorce
It’s hard to end a marriage, but even worse to stay in one where you and your spouse both know things aren’t going to work out. Don’t allow yourself to stay in a marriage out of guilt, regret or fear of an unknown future. You should always take every means necessary to reconcile with your partner in cases where lack of communication has created a chasm in your relationship, but there are also plenty of circumstances where the final line has been drawn and its time to go your separate ways.
Regardless of how you get there, accepting the fact that you’re ready for a divorce can be a liberating realization that sets you on a new journey toward happiness and self-fulfillment.